The Truth About Marriage


I know what you are thinking. Steph, you ain’t even dating someone, how do you even know one thing about marriage?

That was exactly what I asked myself every time I sat down to write this post. That I don’t know anything about marriage because well, I ain’t even close to it.

But the thing is, that is so so not true. Because marriage is yes between a man and a woman, two becoming one, signed – sealed – delivered, forever together. But marriage isn’t just about a girl and a boy getting hitched. It’s about Jesus and His church.

If you have been following my blog for the last year or so, you know that marriage is a deep desire of mine. Something that I was so close to, yet thankfully, so far away from having. Living my life with my best friend is something I cannot wait to hopefully, one day have.

But through the last year of my longing for a relationship and a marriage and a husband (the truth actually sounds horribly needy), I have learned more than one thing about this thing that I so desire and hope for.

That marriage is simply just a shadow of our relationship with Christ.

I remember fighting hard to figure out what I wanted more: a husband or God. Crazy, right? But ladies, have you ever just stopped to think: if someone were to ring your doorbell right now or walk right up to you while you’re waiting in line for your latte, would you rather have it be your future husband or Jesus?

For a long long time I wanted it to be my future husband tapping me on the shoulder. For a long long time I could only see my desire and longing for something to fill a void that only I Am could fill. 

A couple weeks ago, a good friend told me to let God romance my heart. She told me to throw all my desires, the relational and romantic desires, and to allow God to fill that longing.

Allow God to romance you, to ask you on a date, to take your hand and get down on one knee, to know you and every part of you.

Now hear me when I say this- I know that is a weird thing to envision. It’s weird to think of our Heavenly Father as someone to not only protect us and hold us as we cry, but also as Someone who knows our every flaw and wants us still. But calls our name still. But calls us beloved and beautiful and chosen still. 

But its the truth- He loves us that much. He loves you that much. And He doesn’t love you with just some goo-goo-ga-ga love that fades after the honeymoon plane lands. It’s the kind of love that fights and chooses, that is fierce and unrelenting. 

Song of Songs has rocked my world. Like crazy. If you haven’t read it, stop reading this and dig in. It rocked my world, and after almost every chapter I left thinking, WHAT? God loves me THAT much? He loves me that much that He knows and wants to know every part of me? That He created me to be one with Him, to do life with Him, to always have HIM?

This love that He has for you and me surpasses anything we could ever imagine. It is a love that we cannot feel or receive from anyone else other than our Heavenly Father. 

Yet women fantasize about the day they meet the one and find the one in which their souls love. We dream about a man that will choose us and want us and desire us and love us for who we are.

But, we already have it.

We already have a love that will choose us and want us and desire us and love us for who we are. We already have Someone that chooses us in the mess, Someone that stands next to us through the thick and the thin. We already have Someone who has declared, “even death can’t do us part.”

Ladies, hear me out when I say this: I know the longing for a man. I know that longing for someone to choose you always. To love you always. To be there always. That longing is real. It is something we all have. But it is a longing only Jesus can fill. It is a longing only Jesus is MEANT to fill.

And marriage is just a covenant to point you back to the covenant Jesus came to fulfill with His bride.

Marriage is seriously a beautiful thing. Something that I would be beyond blessed to be given here on earth. But not because of all the things the world tells us we get when we “finally” have the one, but because marriage between a man and a woman is a gorgeous picture of the marriage between Jesus and His church. 

And you and me are the church. You and me are who He came for. You and me are who God chooses. And calls. And loves. 

The truth about marriage is that it isn’t about you and him, its about you and Him.

The truth is that marriage has nothing to do with you but everything to do with Jesus. The truth is is that when you find the one in whom your soul loves, who sweeps you off your feet, who chooses you and fights for you and loves you, when you are given someone to share those forever vows with, it actually has nothing to do with him or her, but everything to do with Christ and His love for you.

This truth has smacked me in the face and pushed me back more than a few steps a couple times over the last 6 months, because I didn’t view marriage this way. I didn’t view marriage as what He created it to be.

I viewed marriage as a relationship that gave me someone to be “the one and only” not as giving me someone to always point me to the One and Only.

Ladies, guys if you’re reading, stop searching. Stop waiting. The One is right there with you.

Seek Him, and He will sweep you off your feet. Seek Him, and you will always have One who chooses you. Seek Him, and you will find the One.

See ya soon,

Stephanie Lynn


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: