Hey God, Still Single Over Here

Hey God, still single over here

Any of y’all feel like reminding God this?

That, “Hey, I’ve been single for awhile and I’m not complaining, but that ‘real life love relationship marriage and family’ thing is still something I kinda want” request/plea/cry/you don’t want people to know how badly you want it, question?

Well, I need to be honest with you all. Because when I don’t tell the whole story, I feeling like I’m not telling the whole truth and jypping y’all from knowing the real me. 

SO.

I super desire marriage, and wife stuff and mom stuff.

I so desire that relationship with someone where they are your person and you are theirs.  Where you are chosen and fought for and loved, not because they are family but because they want you. 

And sometimes it is scary to admit that. It is scary to admit that sometimes I long for it more than I’d ever want to admit. It’s scary to admit that I have to walk out of the sanctuary during a Q&A on marriage and family.

It is embarrassing to admit that I want something that I know isn’t promised, that isn’t something I need, and that Jesus is truly the One thing I need to be fulfilled.

It’s scary and embarrassing and hard to be that girl.

But I am, and it’s okay- and it’s okay for you to be too. 

It’s okay to want something that God made for his people. It is okay to desire something so beautiful and exciting.

It’s okay- but I’m here to tell you not to wait.

Don’t wait around. Don’t force it, and don’t settle. Don’t think that life starts when the ring is on the finger. Don’t wish your story to be any different.

This time last year I was freaked out of my stinkin’ mind I was going to be single forever. 

Like freaked out of my mind, tears on tears on tears kind of fear. 

And now here I am a whole year later, still single, still desiring someone to do life with, without someone to even dream of that future with.

I am still single, and I praise Jesus for that.

Because in this singleness, I have been forced to pursue what I want- who I want to be. And I want to meet new people, drink too much coffee and spend more than needed time with family and friends. 

And because I had 6 months at home when this season started, I did all that stuff.

Because it has just been me, myself and I, I had time for new and old people to step into my life.

Because I was “livin that single life” I could pack up and move my life across the country.

Because of this past year, I am more myself than ever before.

These last 366 days (leaper y’all) I learned to not wait, to not settle, to not not do crazy life things because I didn’t have my ‘person’ to experience it with.

Guys, it hasn’t been easy. I’m not someone to put on a face (sometimes to a major fault).

Healing hurts. Growing hurts. And being single isn’t always fun.

But I also experienced more than I could have dreamt the moment “single and ready to mingle” became my unwanted and oh-so-dreaded title.

So all I really want to say is this: it is so so so okay to want to meet your “match made in heaven.” It is so okay to desire and dream and hope for something that is good and pure and perfect in the Lord’s sight.

But don’t miss out on where He has you now.

I don’t want you to miss that He is the one and only thing we need. And He is what our story is all about.

So don’t miss out on being planted where you are; don’t ignore people God has so purposefully placed around you, who love you deeply and who you are called to love deeply. Don’t say no to the unknown because you may miss the guy of your dreams. 

Because God doesn’t miss a thing.

And He wouldn’t dare miss the moment where two become one in His name. I promise. 

My crush with one the guy I randomly emailed and met in real life/thought maybe just maybe we’d date, may not have worked the way I planned, but I also didn’t plan on it happening at all.

But God did. And I learned a whole stinking’ lot (more coming on that soon) and met incredible humans in the process.

So this is the moment I’m just going to tell you to breathe and trust God because He knows what He is doing.

Breathe and know that your story is being written by the best Author of all.

And then repeat. Every stinking’ day.

And wake up ready to live the life the Lord has so graciously given you. It ain’t always easy, but it is always worth it.

Live loved, do good, and love deeply, and God will do His work as He promised.

See ya soon,

Stephanie Lynn