“Get your butt in the chair and start writing.”- hb
I had the honor and privilege of sitting in on a 3 hour writing intensive this morning with one wonderful woman of God, a beautiful writer, and perfect poet. 3 hours sounds grueling and too too long, but wow did it fly by and was it oh so worth it.
Honestly, I haven’t read lots of Hannah’s things, but Instagram has been my place where I have connected with her most, reading her posts and entering into little giveaways like the writing intensive ticket I won earlier this week.
The writing intensive was called this: The Year of the Book.
Huhhm. Jesus. I only blog, why on earth would I want to write a book? What could a book do? And what would I even say?
When I step into Barnes and Noble I get a whole lot anxious and super overwhelmed at all the choices one has when they walk through those doors.
Who am I to add to the pile? What does my story, what do my words have, that their words don’t?
But that is what Hannah helped me see and what I have been fighting to instill in myself for the last few weeks is this: you only need to write for one.
I struggled with this idea of why my words and actions matter when faced with the frustrations and expectations that all teachers in the US tend to face every day. The first question that popped into my head when teachers around me were talking of having too many children and not enough help, I thought, (and honestly think it a lot while driving to and from school), what is my teaching, my relationship, my words, going to mean to any of those kiddos?
And how horrible is that to think that way?
I truly believe that we are all here for a purpose: to glorify Him and love others deeply. And within that purpose is my underlying belief that God is working in the mess, crossing paths and placing people right where we need them because this life wasn’t meant to live alone, before and after the fall.
Unfortunately sometimes, meaning 93% of the time, I forget my underlying beliefs and fall into the lies and the fears that satan loves to dangle in front of my face when I am at my weakest.
And my weakest is believing I can’t do it. That my words, my life, my presence, isn’t worth all the hype Jesus makes it out to be.
But it is- and so is yours.
And honestly guys, even while writing that truth it is hard for me to believe it.
But I am choosing to believe that my story matters.
Satan is super good at installing a fear of worthlessness and a fear of failure in writing a story that won’t matter, because he knows that Jesus is doing something big with mine. But he won’t ever stop me.
Because I am choosing to believe that one of my failures or even a few of my words, are written because someone, even just one, who needs to hear that they are not alone.
So here I am. Send me.
(Anybody else have a slight cringe when they say that to Jesus?)
See ya soon,