Whoa, long time no blog, huh?
Well, if I my blog and Instagram is all about truth and vulnerability, then I guess I’ll have to honest with you all. Here it is: living overseas has been the hardest thing I have ever done in my entire life.
But I’m only 21, how can I say such a thing? Hmm you are more than right, BUT I can say confidently that in my last 21 years of living, no experience, good or bad, can trump living in Prague, 4, 705 miles from home.
It’s an odd thing to student teach in a different country, and it’s a hard thing to student teach in a different country. And it’s a hard thing to take it all on when your heart is weak and your mind isn’t too strong either.
Living in Prague has been tough because over the last year or so, I have let my anxiety and worries of life slowly take me over, to where I haven’t felt like myself for quite awhile. And with not confronting that struggle in ways that could have helped me get on my feet a little sooner and a little easier, traveling to a different country, away from the people I know and love, all while trying to figure out what The Lord is calling me to, my future and my plans after graduation pushed me into a depression that I was not ready for.
I mean, who is ready for that stuff? And as an extremely emotional person, having my emotions stripped from me threw me for a loop. And for a person who has tried to control her anxiety on her own, my mind was having a hay day with trying to figure out what the heck was going on- because it’s tough to have your mind battling all day. And it’s tough to not be able to trust your thoughts when those thoughts determine everything you do, say and feel.
But even 4, 750 miles away from home, I know The Lord is using this for my good and for His glory. I know that the only way I would understand my need for help was to be taken from my comfort and thrown into a whole new world, so that I would turn to Him and no one else. But man is that tough to say, because I can’t see the end. I can’t see the blessing in the brokenness. And no matter how long or often I drop to my knees, I still can’t understand the reason for it all.
But there is always a blessing in the struggle. There is always healing in the brokenness. And He will have the glory through it all.
So even though there is no Thanksgiving here in beautiful Prague, I can confidently say that even 4, 750 from home, I still have a thankful heart. For the people who love me so well from so far away. For my beautiful students and my absolutely incredible cooperating teacher and staff. For my roommates here and at home. For The Lord’s provision and His call on my life.
And for Prague, for it has been tough, but man has it been beautiful.
See you soon,