And man did I forget big time.
Wait, what did you forget? Well it may sound lame, but I forgot the reason I wanted to teach overseas. I forgot why God randomly laid ‘teaching over seas’ on my heart a month and a half before the application was due. I forgot how much His hand was in the planning.
I forgot the reason of why God called me to go somewhere out of my comfort zone. A place where I do not speak the language (did I mention I struggle speaking English?), a school that is at the highest rank of education (did I mention that I do not feel equipped or ‘smart enough’ to teach, making teaching at a pretty dang prestigious school that much more intimidating?) and for longer than I expected to be gone from family and friends. I forgot that I did not apply to teach overseas because of my comfortabity, but because of His calling and His redemption.
I forgot it all, and I became anxious. I did not become anxious about teaching across the world, but I became anxious about my plan, my dreams, and my way of doing things. My control over my life was completely shaken the moment I turned in that application, and little did I know that God had a big thing coming for me, and man was I going to need faith to get me through.
As I read through Hebrews 11 a few days ago, I was overwhelmed with the feeling that I’m okay because God has got it all in His hands. I am not making this trip for myself or anyone else- no- I am doing it to follow in faith of what I feel called to do: to be with kids, to learn from kids, to teach those kids the little that I know, and to learn buckets from a whole new community/culture like never before.
My small leap of faith, or maybe I could say my mustard seed of faith, when turning in that application lead to me finally understanding what faith in Jesus Christ truly means.
| Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen- Hebrews 11:1|
Having faith is the conviction that Jesus Christ is our only salvation, and living in that faith is done by remaining faithful to that truth, holding fast to our faith.
Faith is our purpose in life. Jesus is that purpose, and the fullness of God’s purpose “comes when our faith propels us to offer up our lives for the glory of the Kingdom. Not later, when we feel more qualified or can see just where He’s leading us– but right now, just as we are’ (SheReadsTruth).
I did not see where He was leading me until today, and honestly, it is still an extremely blurry vision, but now I understand what truth faith looks like: following Him even when I cannot see. Faith is following Him even when I am weary, broken, and exhausted. Faith is trusting in Him to take you where His will will be done.
‘The One who gives us faith is the One who makes us faithful when we remain in Him’ (SheReadsTruth). Gosh is that so true. God made me a faithful servant even when I thought I was failing as His disciple. My faith was holding me to His plan without me even realizing it, and now I can confidently say that “yeah, I do not know my future, but hey, I don’t mind because I want His glory and His kingdom come. I want to stay faithful because He is faithful.”
Isn’t that crazy? A fruit of the Spirit, a piece of Him, can be given to us as we grow in Him (Psst. there’s 8 more too!). He makes us faithful, and He is faithful. I like the sound of that.