As of three days ago, my heart was heavy and my head was overwhelmed by all that I have to finish before this semester ends.
Papers. Behavior Plans. Comprehension Report. Lessons. Grades. GPA. Projects. Volunteer Hours. More Papers.
This list kept running through my mind, and before I knew it, my head was in my hands and my eyes were filling with tears.
How the heck can I finish all of this? There are two and a half weeks left and my checklist is a mile long. My GPA is going to drop from that one A minus. It’s just not worth it.
But as I was reading my friends instagram post about not worrying about tomorrow, it hit me. The Lord does not want me to worry. He does not want me to stress. That stress, that worry, take me away from glorifying Him. So I decided to do something about it.
Starting two days ago I decided that I am going to take my life day by day. Not worrying about tomorrow, not stressing about my projects, and instead start being joyful in The Lord and serving others every moment of that I can. Now it is important to remember that I am not a perfect person. Whatsoever. My attitude gets in the way, my girly moods take over my mind, and my heart’s feelings are not always pointed towards Christ. But I am a sinner, and what is most important is that I start fighting against those sinful thoughts and stop letting Satan convince me otherwise.
So my plan is simple: make small checklists and focus on the daily bread given to me. I am going to walk the narrow path, focus on The Lord, and stop being selfish. And it is working. It’s not a perfect plan, but it is working. Taking a picture of my feet once every day is reminding me of my Faithful, Redeeming Lord. The picture reminds me of that daily walk and all that The Lord gave me within those rainy days or sunny saturdays.
April 4th, a misty Friday: The Lord gave me a coffee date with a selfless and beautiful friend. He gave me time to praise and worship His Holy name. Time for a filling lunch and a simple, restful project. Time for revising, editing, and lesson planning. He gave me time to rest, more time to worship, unplanned visitors, and good conversation. But Friday was a tough day for me. My mood was far from perfect and I was being so selfish, but as I reflect back on that day, He was still faithful and He pulled me out of that grumpy, stupid mood.
April 5th, a sunny, chilly Saturday: Man was the Lord great today. I was given the glorious gift of sleeping in. There was miscommunication and jumbled thoughts, but I chose to trust Him. There was complaining and frustration, but I know He is faithful. A Starbucks homework stop was filled with a finished lesson, a free refill, and a small checklist finished. And that was only up to 5 o’clock. In a nutshell, dinner was full of laughter, my night was full of Pinterest scanning and disney princesses, and now I get to finish it with reminiscing on how great my God is.
I have 2 and a half weeks before my sophomore year of college ends. So I am doing this. I am going to walk daily with the Lord, receiving my daily bread and nothing more. I am slowing down and taking in all of His majesty.
Our Father in heaven, Your name be honored as holy. Your kingdom come. Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us today our daily bread. And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. And do not bring us into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one. For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen.
So be it.